Wrecked and Restored - thoughts during holy week!

The Lord has been teaching me about humility these days! As my pastor says: "I wanna learn to walk with my face to the carpet..."

It's never an easy lesson....in fact it's messy and involves much self-reflection, evaluation, severe struggle, and always repentence. But it carries with it freedom, grace, mercy, and extreme love and is coupled with trust, obedience, and surrender.

The moment I realized I was acting within my own strength and outside of God's will (which I'll admit, took a while for me to see clearly - scary!), I was filled with an urgency to "get right" with God like never before! Conviction came when I decided that I didn't want to settle for being "in the middle" of darkness and light, of wrong and right, or of who I was and who He's making me. I don't want to be "in the middle" of the altar and the door, the safety of the boat and the crashing waves, His will and my plans, my faith and my hands......I only want to be in the middle of His PRESENCE!

I've tasted and seen that the LORD IS GOOD! I've been to the mountaintop! I've feasted at the table! I've seen the land of milk and honey! I know that there is abundant life! I will not compromise or settle for the middle, for less than His best, for anything other than His dreams for my life! I trust that they are better than ANYTHING I can ever think of or imagine!

The road here was not easy and I am not proud of things I've done in straying from my Savior. It is so true of the ancient hymn that we are "prone to wander, Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love..."

Praise God that we can come to Him and beg: "Here's my heart Lord, take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above!"

So, during this holy week of reflection on the cross, the crucifixion, the death of our Savior for our wretchedness......He has shown me things that He wants me to "die" to.....to put to death in me....to crucify in my old nature....

But He doesn't ask me to STAY there.....in the death of things.....He offers LIFE.....a resurrected life of abundance! We can identify with the crucifixion so that we can live in amazement of the resurrection! What a mighty God we serve!

In the past 10 days, the Lord has wrecked and restored me.....and the process is ongoing! It's a daily wrecking sometimes.....but I have to suffer through it so that He may receive the glory on the other side! So that I may boast in His restoration of my brokenness. So that in humilty I can know the strength and POWER of His unfailing and everlasting LOVE!

Be willing to let God do ANYTHING that He needs to do in you so that He can do EVERYTHING He wants to do through you! I guarantee it's always worth it! There's a harvest to be gathered.....the workers are few! Prepare yourself for MORE of God this week before Easter. Be ready for His wrecking and restoring....to God be the glory!

Here is a song that has resonated in me today....it's called "Have Your Way" by Andrew Peterson. It's off his latest album called "Resurrection Letters Vol. II"!
The lyrics are such a beautiful prayer of surrender and humilty!

Have Your Way

Father, hear me now when I am humbled
I fear that I will soon forget
Now I have no stength to stand and stumble
I have no wish to leave You yet
Oh Holy Father, hear me now
When flesh is strong and spirit weak
Please break my back when I won't bow
Won't You have Your way with me

Father, hear me now when I am humbled
When I am bent with holy shame
All the lies that I believed have crumbled
The blood of Christ my only plea
I cannot trust my own designs
My heart is prone to disobey
So listen Lord while there is time
Chain me fast if I won't stay
Take my life and have Your way

Please hear me Lord this blessed hour
When sin has loosed it's hold on me
Thy mercy is a mighty tower
So why should I not trust in Thee
Father have Your way with me

Swan Lake and Meeting AP

What a great weekend! My friend, Larissa, invited me to "get away" for a day before Easter. We left on Good Friday and drove to the Georgia mountains to a quaint Bed and Breakfast owned by a very hospitible Christian couple. We had a wonderful time of being catered with scrumptious food, playing backgammon, worshipping with voices and guitars by a fire that never quite got going (but not for lack of trying, mind you!), Larissa falling in the muddy lake, beautiful weather, and excellent and much needed quiet time in amazing surroundings and in the presence of God.....we felt blessed and refreshed!

Then it was off on a road trip to Knoxville to see a performance by one of my favorite artists, Andrew Peterson. I've followed his songwriting, journals, concerts, blogs, Rabbit Room, and now bookwriting, for a long time. His songs have convicted my spirit as well as made my heart soar with praises. His blogs have brought me to tears as I relate to the way he is real about his shortcomings while at the same time, exalting the One who loves us most. I've been to a few of his concerts in the past and they have always been memorable. I've recommended his music to tons of people and have gifted his Christmas album to many: Behold the Lamb of God. Recently, I've followed the making of his latest album entitled: Resurrection Letters, Vol. 2.......

The concert was just him on the guitar and Ben Shive on the grand piano. He told background stories of songs I've loved, he talked comically in between songs, and he played new songs from the upcoming album. My favorite was a song called "Hosanna", which I learned means, "Save us!" It always seemed like the people crying "hosanna" were praising him, while instead they were shouting for salvation! What a difference that makes. Needless, to say, I cannot wait for the album to come out.

After the concert, at a smallish church in Knoxville, I decided to try to meet Andrew. Surprisingly, it was quite easy, and he was quite pleasant (although shorter than I had thought!). I told him that I had driven from Atlanta and that I felt that I already knew him from reading so much of his heart and thoughts online. I expressed my excitement for the Rabbit Room and told him how much his music and journals have meant to me over the years. I talked to Ben too, and told him how much I appreciated his hard work to bring together AP's albums. His piano playing is amazing! He's been working on his own album for 2 years now.

I bought AP's first book, released four days prior: On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness, and asked him to sign it. He wrote: Kristen, beware the toothy cows! AP

We drove home and got in late, but rose excited for the early sunrise Easter service at 7am outside. I felt so much joy on this Resurrection Day. So much life. So much peace in the presence of my Savior.

He's alive! He is risen! The tomb is empty! He was risen to rule, to rescue, to return, and to restore! Thank you Lord for an amazing and memorable weekend of showered blessings! Thank you for the gift of Your Son, Jesus Christ, for His death and resurrection. Thank you that you have allowed me to be a dwelling place for Your life and Spirit!

Thanks AP for sharing your gifts of music and words! Thanks Larissa, for your friendship and time!

Peace of the Risen Christ to all!